My dear Heart and most loving children. It hath
been no small matter of grief to me that I know ye could
not come and see me at this time, when I had the greatest
desyre and greatest need of your help, but however since
it is the will of God we cannot meet together now I pray
that our meeting together after this lyfe may be with
eternall joy and comfort and not with everlasting shame
and confusion. I judged it my duty to take this last
leave and farewell before I goe out of this world and
desyre you will keep this as the last token of the
affection and surest pledge of my love... of a dying
husband ye will seriously reflect upon the wonderful ways
of God in his dealing with me, and after I am gone have
not harsh thoughts of him who does all things wisely and
well and who, I hope, shall turn everything for my good,
and even that which flesh and blood seems most naturally
to be most averse to and abhorr. It seems God hath a
contraversie with me and my family for our great sins
which are now the cause which occasion and hasten my
untimely end, but I hope he hath a designe of love and
mercie to my soul, and in his holy providence hath thought
it best for me to die publickly on a scaffold that I may
thereby be the more induced to a serious sight of and deep
repentance for my manifold sins, and obtain God's mercie
for Christ sake, and also be a warning to other that they
fall not in my snares.
And now my dear Heart and my dear children, I leave
this counsell and advice to you in the words of a dying
husband and parent that ye will seriously learn in tyme
from my sad fall seriously to amend and repent your ways
and turn to God with all your hearts, and although you
cannot any more pray for me, yet I charge and obtest you
as ever you expect to see the face of God in mercie ye
will turn to him with all your hrarts, it is a fearful
thing to fall into the hands of God without repentance and
mercie, and if ever you expect his mercie delay not your
repentance, mourn bitterly all the days of your lives, and
pray that the sins of my family may be expiate, attonement
may be made not by the shedding of my blood, but for the
sake and attonement of Jesus Christ that cleaneth all from
sin, and as I dy in perfect charity with all men and
freely forgives my pursuers ad all my enemyes, so I desyre
you, my dearest wife and children, to forgive them, as ye
hope for forgiveness from God yourselves, and look chiefly
to the hand of God in this, and on them but as
instruments: they intended it to me (perhaps) for evil but
God hath turned (I trust) for my good and advantage,
though they have occasioned (perhaps) our separation a
little sooner, and - me to that fatall blow, yet I trust
it shall turn to the etrnall salvation of my soul. I
intreat you make (conscience) of the worship of God as
long as you are together...and separate serving of him
whose eyes are always upon you and....you must make your
account to God as I am shortly to doe and whatsomevir your
predominant inclinations do most prompt and lead you to,
and you find to be provoking to him, endeavour to reform
and amend and beware of offending him as I have done.
And now my dearest Heart and children, I have no more
to leave you but this my last advice and blessing, live in
sweetness and the fear of God so long as ye live together.
My heart, be kynd to and be careful of your children and
mine, and my children be obedient to and helpfull to your
mother, and commit your wayes to him, and he who hath
promised to be a father to the fatherlesse, and a husband
to the widow will (doubtless) take care of you and will
provyde for you, to whose grace I commend you as I commend
my soul to his mercie and pardon, and I bid you and all my
friends a long long farewell in hopes of a glorious
meeting together again at the resurrection: and mourn not
for me as those that have no hope, and remember this is
the last advice of your dearest dying husband and most
loving parent, Godfrey McCulloch.